We All Need A Saviour
by Eivoe
Summary: Clary and Alec SH/Suicidal. Rated M for SH/Suicide being mentioned. Potentially triggering. Clace / Malec
1. Discovered

_It's time. I'm ready._

Clary was repeating those words in her mind the entire walk to the park. It was a place that very few people go to, making it perfect for what she was going to do. She didn't want any interference's. No, not this time.

She finally arrived at a beautiful tree in the most out-of-the-way part if the park. She frequently came here to draw when she was younger, but when she was 10 she stopped. Her mother had ruined any happy memory she had here.

It seemed fitting to Clary. This place was where her childhood died and now it's where she will die too.

After a couple minutes blankly staring at the tree she decided that it was dark enough that nobody would come to bother her. She sat down with her back to the tree and oh so carefully laid out her items. She had 3 bottles of Tylenol and a brand new razor blade. Clary couldn't decide which she would use first, but eventually she went for the razor blade. It would bring her comfort.

Clary slowly pulled up her sleeve and gently stroked her scarred forearm. She put the blade to her skin and closed her eyes as she felt blood start flowing down her arm. She looked and realized that this was at least twice as deep as she had ever gone. She was proud, in a way. She then did the same with her right forearm.

When it was done she sat with her eyes closed and waited for life to leave her, but she noticed something despite her reverie. There was a strange white light at the corner of her eye. She opened her eyes and saw 3 people walking towards her.

One of the people was a tall girl with long black hair. Another was an even taller boy with messy black hair and piercing blue eyes. When Clary looked at the third, her already shallow breath hitched. He looked like an angel with his matching golden hair and eyes. He was absolutely beautiful and he was staring right at her

"I think she can see us, Alec." The angel boy said

"What did that stupid mundane do? Do we have to help?" The boy, Alec, said

"No! Please… Just leave me here!" I whimpered weakly.

I didn't want to be sent back home, or to the hospital

The angel boy ran towards me and started binding the wounds on my wrists. He picked me up, ignoring my weak attempts at struggling free.

I heard them mumbling to each other.

 _Jace, what are you doing? She's just a mundane! Then why can she see us, Alec?_

I didn't get to hear much more. Everything faded to black and I felt someone whisper in my ear

"You're going to be okay now, beautiful."

 **A/N**

 **Hey Reader! I know that this kind of story isn't for everyone but I hope that you have enjoyed it. Please give me a review, I really value peoples opinions on my writing. Thanks for reading!**

 **\- Jace**


	2. Relapse

When Clary woke up, she first noticed the intense headache.

 _I failed_

Upon opening her eyes she nearly screamed. There was a boy sitting at the foot of her bed…

No, not her bed. She was in some sort of infirmary that she had never seen before. Where was she?

"You must be pretty confused, mundie."

The boy at the foot of her bed spoke with a deep voice that was strangely husky. Almost as if he had been crying.

"Uh… Ya, you could say that. Who are you?"

Clary reached up to rub the back of her neck when a sharp pain ran down her neck. She looked in the mirror and saw a strange shape burned into the left side of her neck.

She was thoroughly confused at this point so she waited for an explanation.

"I'm Alec Lightwood. You are in the infirmary of what we call The Institute and the burn on your neck is called an iratze. My brother Jace used it on you to heal your wounds."

"Why? You people don't know me."

"Jace noticed that you could see us so he was certain that you were a shadowhunter. He was… curious."

"Talking behind my back, Alec?"

I looked at the door and suddenly my memory of the previous night returned. The angel boy, Jace, had picked me up and said that I would be safe.

"It's about time…"

At that Alec got up and swiftly left the room saying as he left that someone named Maggie was expecting him. His girlfriend maybe?

Jace walked over to my bed and sat down at my side, grabbing my hand and looking deeply into my eyes.

"I didn't know if you would be okay… I'm happy that you are."

I laughed under my breath

"You don't even know me. I'm sure you would be fine if I hadn't woken up. God knows everyone else would be…"

Then something happened that surprised me. He leaned down and planted a gentle kiss against my forehead and then leaned his forehead against it.

"Never say that… Ever." He whispered "And I would like to know you very much."

He leaned up and looked back into my eyes expectantly.

"My name's Clary. How long am I set to stay here? When are you sending me away?"

He looked baffled then started laughing

"You talk in your sleep, Clary. You spoke about your mother and the people at school. Clary-"

He put his hand under my chin ever so gently

"-you will never have to go back if you don't want to. You are a Shadowhunter and this is your home now."

I started crying and he pulled me into a hug

-oOo-

As soon as Jace got to the infirmary Alec was up and out the door. He told Jace that Maggie was waiting for him. He used that name because his family assumes that it's his girlfriend but little do they know that it is short for Magnus. Eventually he will tell them but… Not now.

He went to his room and took a shower. After he was done his shower he sat on the bathroom floor trying to think of what he was going to do in a moment. He hadn't hurt himself like this since he met Magnus… Was he really going to do this again?

He took out a new razor head from the package and got to work taking it apart. After a couple of minutes he had done it and sat with the blade on his thigh. He sighed and picked it up, letting muscle memory take over. He heard it before he felt it, then let all of his worries flow out of him.

Eventually he got dressed and started his walk to Magnus's house. After the monotonous trek to the warlocks loft was over and he got buzzed in he started worrying. What if Magnus found out? What if he left Alec and was disgusted?

All of Alec's worrying stopped when his beautiful boyfriend opened the door and pulled him in for a kiss.

They sat and talked about their day and ate dinner. Eventually they ended up watching a movie in Magnus's bed. One thing led to another and they were making out. Magnus pulled away to smirk at Alec and took off Alec's shirt as well as his own.

Magnus trailed kisses down Alec's torso and unbuttoned his jeans, Pulling them off in one fluid motion and stopped dead in his tracks.

Alec couldn't breathe. He couldn't move. All he knew in that moment was fear that Magnus would leave him. How could he let things go this far? How could he be so stupid?

Magnus looked up at him and started shaking his head, tears in his eyes.

"Magnus… I-I'm sorry… Please don't-"

Magnus quickly pulled him into a hug, hot tears rolled down onto Alec's shoulder.

"Do not apologize, love. I'm sorry that I couldn't have stopped this…"

Magnus sat on the bed and put his head in his hands, sobbing quietly

"Magnus! Don't cry!"

Alec wrapped his arms around the weeping warlock from behind and kissed his shoulder

"Magnus, you did stop it. This is the first time i've done it since we met… You make me happier than anyone else. I just… I don't know. We found this girl yesterday night who tried to kill herself in the park and after my shift watching her I just couldn't stop thinking about it…"

We were both crying at this point

"Oh, My Love, please… If you ever feel like that again just call me. Or come over."

"Are you sure that you still want to be around me now? Don't you find me disgusting?"

"Of course not! I love you Alec! And besides, distracting you would be… my pleasure."

Magnus winked at the last part and Alec blushed a deep crimson

"I'm sure it would be, literally."

 **A/N**

 **Hey Everyone!**

 **I hope that you are enjoying so far. I would really appreciate any criticism that you have so give me review if you'd like.**

 **-Jace**


	3. Outed

After Alec left the room with seemingly no explanation, Jace came over and took Alec's place on the mattress.

"How are you doing, Clary?"

"Um…" He was staring at me with those beautiful golden eyes - I couldn't think "I'm great. Why?"

He chuckled without humour

"Because I can't get get the image of you slowly bleeding to death in front of that damn tree, Clary!"

"Why would you even care! You don't know me and the people who do don't care, so why do you!?"

We were shouting at this point

"Because I couldn't stop thinking about you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I have never felt this way before…"

Jace lowered his head into his hands and groaned. When he raised his head, Clary knew that the deep blush in her cheeks was visible and rolled over, shoving her face into the pillows.

When Clary sat up, Jace was staring at the ground. A single tear trailed down his left cheek and fell into his lap.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't meet you earlier… Maybe I could have stopped you from feeling this way."

"Listen, Jace. There is no reason for you to be sorry"

Clary sat up and reached her hand out, wiping the tear from Jace's face and guiding his face around to look at her.

"And, besides, you know me now. Is that good enough?"

"Yes. Are you hungry?"

"Oh, yeah. I could eat."

Jace held out his hand and she took it

-oOo-

Alec heard the buzzer to Magnus' apartment going off. He wrapped his arms tighter around Magnus' waist, with no complains from the warlock. The buzzer continued buzzing in an annoying pattern so, with a groan of protest from Alec, Magnus got out of the bed and walked to the door. Alec decided he should just go back to sleep.

When Magnus opened the door after buzzing the person up, he was surprised. He was too tired to check to see who it was and he now realized that that was a terrible mistake.

Maryse and Robert Lightwood now stood in his entryway looking at him expectantly.

"We did schedule this, Magnus." Maryse said impatiently.

He had been… preoccupied

"Oh, of course, come in…"

Magnus nonchalantly brushed Alec's sneakers out of view and gestured them towards the couch. He then sighed quietly. They couldn't know that Alec was here.

"We need your help Magnus… It's quite important."

Magnus joined the couple in the lounge area on the couch opposite. He realized that he had a picture of Alec on his fridge, which he would have to deal with before it came into their view

"What's the problem?" He tried to sound bored and tired

"We…" Robert gestured for Maryse to continue and put his head in his hands

"We have… reason to suspect that…" She cleared her throat as if this were physically going to harm her to say "We think that Alec might be gay…"

"Like I asked, what's the problem?" A wee bit of anger seeped into his voice

"Our son! A Lightwood! A SHADOWHUNTER! HE MIGHT BE GAY!"

Magnus hoped that Alec would have the common sense to stay in the bedroom

"And what do you think I can do?!"

"We aren't sure Magnus. We're just desperate…" We we're yelling now. They looked defeated

I saw a tired looking Alec start to stumble out of the bedroom, wearing only his boxers.

"Hey, babe, what's going on?" He opened his eyes and realized his mistake

Robert and Maryse turned with looks of rage on their faces to look at their son. It was a double blow… He was mostly naked in the bedroom of Magnus Bane, which was bad enough. But then they saw his legs. They were covered in scars.

"WHAT THE FUCK ALEC!? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LEGS?!" Robert wason his feet facing his son. His fists were balled in anger.

I had expected Alec to look scared or start crying but he just laughed and looked absolutely done.

"I STAYED THE NIGHT WITH MY BOYFRIEND. AND YOU HAPPENED."

Alec returned to the bedroom, slamming the door.

"How could you do this to him Magnus?! You have turned our son gay!" Maryse was now whispering, which was somehow scarier than her yelling.

"No, Maryse. All I did was love and accept him. I love him more than anyone and he loves me. If you truly love him you should be happy that he found someone at all after all the shithe's been through. You need to leave." Magnus ushered the hate filled shadowhunters out the door and rushed to his bedroom as soon as it was closed.

-oOo-

After they ate breakfast Jace showed Clary to where her permanent residence would be.

"Are you sure I can stay here?" Clary seemed unsure of everything around her, as if it were about to shatter and her good dream end

"Of course! You're a shadowhunter!

Clary got her stuff from the infirmary and tried to settle in when she suddenly realized something

"Why are you still following me around?"

"I believe that when you try to take your own life you shouldn't be allowed free roam without supervision… Call me crazy."

"I'm just confused as to why you care so much. I'm just a fucked up girl who nobody loves. I mean, I'm not interesting. I'm not pretty. I'm ugly and fat and fucked in the head and I don't deserve anyone's attention. Especially yours. I -"

Clary was cut off when Jace stomped across the room and pressed his lips to Clary's. It was gentle and desperate. Clary found herself kissing him back, mimicking his movements. It only lasted two seconds when Jace pulled away, cupping Clary's face and looking into her eyes with an intense, almost angry look.

"Never. Ever. Say. Those. Things. About. Yourself."

Clary grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down to kiss her again. After a moment of surprise, He kissed her back.

 _This time wasn't gentle_


	4. Author's Note

**Hey guys! Sorry I haven't been updating but I just got my laptop back so hang in there, there will be a new chapter either tomorrow or the next day. Please leave reviews as I love to know what you guys think. Thanks for reading!**

 **\- Jace**


	5. Exhausted

Magnus walked into his bedroom and scanned for the black haired boy. He wasn't there. In a panic he dashed to the bathroom and found that the door had been locked. He pounded and pounded on the door but there was no answer. Eventually agnus remembered that he could easily use his magic to enter the bathroom and did just that.

He saw Alec, the love of his immortal life, pale and unconscious on the floor with a sizable gash from his wrist to the crease of his elbow.

In an instant Magnus flung himself upon Alec's body and got to work. No matter how little energy he had he was going to save Alec, even if it was the last thing he will ever do.

After about a minute Alec's wound started closing and some color returned to his face. In another two, Alec's eyes fluttered open.

 _What the-_

His thoughts were stopped when he felt the weight of Magnus' exhausted form collapse onto him. He held Magnus tight to him and got up, managing not to fall over with the warlock in his arms.

He walked Magnus to his bad and undressed him, knowing that he prefers to sleep in just his boxers, and laid him down under the duvet next to him.

 **A/N**

 **Sorry for not uploading recently shit has been going down but it should all be clear for now. I will try to update weekly but honestly I have a huge procrastination problem so don't expect too much. This is just a small chapter to satiate your desire for a day or two until I can think of a legitimate chapter.**

 **Thanks to everyone who has reviewed I really appreciate it! Keep them coming so I know how bad i'm doing, it really helps me out.**

 **-Jace**


	6. Tension

Clary had never felt this way before. Was this feeling love? She tried to remember what love felt like but it was in vain. She kept thinking about this until someone calling her name broke her out of her haze

"Clary! Earth to Clary!" Jace was in front of her snapping his fingers in her face

"Uh… Yeah Jace?"

"Well, you've just been staring at me for, like, a minute. I know i'm very attractive but that kind of behaviour is hardly necessary."

I rolled my eyes at this

"I was just thinking."

Jace had been more arrogant than usual for the past two days. But maybe this was his usual behaviour. I had only known him for 4 days… I shook off that thought

"Well Maryse wants us to go to the library for a meeting. It probably has to do with starting your training."

"Okay…" I spoke quietly, stroking the bandages around my forearms

Jace turned and started walking out of the room, expecting me to follow

Walking down the halls of the institute I got a bad feeling, but shook that off as well

Eventually I bumped into Jace as he was entering the library. He had abruptly halted so I shoved past him to look at what had caused this. Maryse was in tears and Robert was trying to comfort her but he was obviously outraged. Jace walked to his adopted mother and started interrogating her, but she couldn't say what had caused this.

I walked in and when I reached where everyone was seated their eyes looked to the door. I turned and saw Alec with his sister who I learnt was called Isabelle and a tall slender man who looked to be about 18 and of asian descent.

Robert stood immediately and started marching toward the group, pointing a finger at the other man and yelling.

"THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT MAGNUS BANE!"

"No, Robert, all I did was offer Alec my love. It's not my fault that he loved me back."

 _Oh_

"I'm sorry, what is going on here? Maryse? Robert?" Jace looked incredibly confused

"Well, Jace, what's happening is that our son has been made into a faggot by Magnus Bane."

Jace's face rapidly changed expression, but then settled on rage. He walked past Robert and got very close to leaned his face in so that his nose was almost touching Alec's and opened his mouth in preparation to say something.

"Alec, do NOT listen to what they are saying. I'm so sorry on their behalf. No matter what, I am behind you, 100%"

A tear streaked down Alec's face and Jace hugged him fiercely, as if to protect him.

Alec then looked at me. I was still beside Maryse, he was obviously questioning my stance on the matter. I walked over to him and gave him a quick, awkward hug, as I am at least 10 inches shorter than he and he didn't expect it.

"I know that I don't really know you or anything but I am with you Alec."

Robert and Maryse stormed out of the room, muttering obscenities

Magnus gathered Alec in his arms and whispered to him how brave he is

We sat in the library for a while, and eventually Isabelle got up and cursed herself.

"I found another Shadowhunter today. He was a homeless orphan."

"Oh? Who is he?" Jace said, standing

"Simon Lovelace"

 **A/N**

 **Holy shit guys... Me? Actually updating? Crazy, I know.**

 **I do in fact have an explanation. I had an existential crisis and some issues with my mental health, so naturally I was grounded from the internet as a punishment. I'm back though and I would like to get into a legitimate updating schedule for the future.**

 **Pretty please tell me what you think of the new chapter. I know it's short and crap but I still want to hear what you think. I'll try to make future chapters better.**

 **Thanks lovelies!**

 **-Jace**


	7. United

Alec couldn't help but feel stupid.

Filled with overwhelming shame and sadness he had slit his wrist in Magnus' bathroom. He thought he might feel happy when he saw himself bleeding but the blade had been too good at it's job. He saw that he had gone too far and was going to die.

By the time the realization had sunk in and he no longer wanted to die, it was too late. He was sitting in a rapidly expanding pool of blood and he felt cold and numb. He couldn't move. His vision blurred, blackened and went out completely.

The next thing Alec felt was the lithe form of his boyfriend fall against him. Filled with joy that he got a 'do over' he scooped up the warlock and left him to rest. He tried to sleep but he couldn't.

An intense rage was building deep inside his gut. No mother or father should be able to treat their child like this. Love shouldn't be conditional.

He wanted to see how Jace and Izzy felt about him now. How would they have reacted to Maryse and Robert storming into the institute and speaking of me in such disgusting ways.

Even if they accepted him, they would never be able to understand how he feels. Alec could only think of one person who would understand and help him through this.

 _Oh god. I'm going to have to talk to Clary._

Alec only realized how long he had been thinking when he felt Magnus reach around his torso and pull him closer. For a moment he thought Magnus was still asleep until he heard quiet sobs coming from behind him.

Alec turned around and immediately gathered the sobbing warlock into his arms, stroking his hair gently.

"Alec…" It sounded as if he wanted to say more but he couldn't catch his breath

"I know, my love, I'm so sorry you had to see that. Thank you for saving me Magnus. I never want to leave you. I'm so sorry."

Magnus nodded and they laid like that for a long time, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

Alec thought the alarm quite rude when it started blaring beside his head.

"Would you like to come with me to confront my family and possibly get disowned?"

"If you want me to, i'd be happy to accompany you."

The couple got dressed and mentally prepared for what was to come.

The only thing on Alec's mind was that at least he has his beautiful warlock if this all goes wrong

-oOo-

 _Simon Lovelace_

Clary knows that name. Suddenly Clary lost her balance and stared forward, dumbfounded.

Simon had been Clary's best friend, the only person who treated her like she was worthy of this life. She hadn't seen simon since they were 9, when his mother and father died and he was taken by the state to a foster home. Her life got much worse after that point.

She was pulled from her thoughts by Alec and Magnus' hands gripping her arms and hauling her to her feet.

"You going to be okay, Red?"

"Uh, yeah, it's just-"

Clary's heart stopped.

At the door was a tall boy with dark curly hair and big black glasses. He was older and more handsome, but he was the same Simon. He was still Clary's Simon.

He was wearing a look on his face that no doubt mirrored her own. They stared at each other for what seemed like forever and then, without Clary making any decision, her legs were carrying her forward. Simon ran towards her and they collided in a hug.

Clary didn't know when she started crying, and she didn't care.

They pulled away to look at each other. Simon was crying as well.

"Clary- I just can't believe that you're actually here."

"I'm so happy to see you Simon. God, I love you so much. 6 years away from you was the worst thing to ever happen to me."

Simon engulfed Clary in his arms again

"I know how you feel. I love you too."

"Hey, does someone want to explain what's going on?" It was Isabelle speaking, a look of intense confusion on her face

I pulled away from Simon, but kept one arm firmly around his waist, as if to keep him from leaving me again. He kept his arm around me as well.

"Oh, yeah, Isabelle-"

"Just call me Izzy, Clary."

"Okay then Izzy, Simon has been my best friend in the entire world for as long as I can remember. He lived in the apartment beside mine. We lost touch 6 years ago when we were 9 because Simon was considered a ward of the state."

"So… you guys are a couple?" Alec looked slightly uncomfortable with the entire situation

"Oh, uh, haha, no we're just-"

"It's not really like that-"

"He's like my brother really and uh-"

"Okay, Okay!" Jace spoke for the first time since Simon came in. He had a strange look on his face that I couldn't quite place.

He quickly left the room. I looked to Alec and Izzy for an explanation but they seemed just as lost as I was. I volunteered to give Simon the grand tour. Alec was about to protest but Magnus put a hand on his arm.

"I really doubt that she'll be able to harm herself when he's around Alec. She'll be fine. Won't you Clarissa?"

"Yeah i'll-"

"What do you mean she won't harm herself?" Simon looked quite worried

"Well, I guess you need an explanation, huh?" I said, scratching the back of my neck

I led Simon to my room and sat him on my bed. This is not a conversation I wanted to have.

I explained what happened in the last 6 years with my mother and then what Alec meant.

By the end of my explanation Simon was in tears. He grabbed me gently around the waist as I was standing anxiously in front of him and held me.

"I'm so sorry that you've been through this alone Clary. I'm so sorry that I didn't come back to you sooner."

I'm sure he continued saying similar things, but only one thing was on my mind.

As Simon was focused on me so heavily, he must have forgotten about something. The sleeve of his sweater had slid about halfway up his forearm, and there were about 25 deep, long, angry slashes on his arm.

I started crying harder into his shoulder

 **A/N**

 **So... 2 updates in such a short span of time. Please tell me what you think. Tell me if you are enjoying this or not. What do you think of Simon and Clary? What of Jace's behaviour?**

 **Anyways, I have a Chemistry final tomorrow and I procrastinated studying for you guys.**

 **Thanks for reading my lovelies!**

 **\- Jace**


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